Battles of special kids and their parents; mainstream inclusion suffers setback
Telegraph | 11 August 2025
Raising children with autism and other disabilities comes
with immense challenges, and it can sometimes be traumatic for both the
children and their families — not because of the disabilities themselves, but
because of the lack of understanding and acceptance from broader society.
Children with disabilities are subjected to bullying in educational
institutions and social circles.
The ostracism or the bullying sometimes
becomes so acute that parents retreat from the mainstream, said parents and
those who work with disabilities.
Not being invited to birthday parties or
parents taking turns to attend a marriage invitation because others either
side-talk or stare at their child are some of the behaviours that these
children and their parents face.
In one particular incident, a primary
school-going child was allegedly beaten up by his peers. The children
purportedly accepted their mistake, but it was the child with autism who had to
be taken out and sent to a special school.
A third-year PhD scholar at IISER
Kolkata, Anamitra Roy, allegedly committed suicide after accusing another
scholar of bullying him for his autism and alleging that his supervisor not
only remained silent but also indulged his tormentor.
Roy’s death will be a
setback for inclusion, said Arunasis Adhikari, who works with disabilities.
“Physical infrastructures are being created to include people with disabilities
in the mainstream, but where is the mindset to include them. No amount of government
policies can help in the absence of sensitivity or acceptance. After Roy’s
death, parents of children with disabilities will be wary of mainstreaming
their children,” said Adhikari, trustee, Bhabna Trust that runs a residential
facility for children with disabilities in West Burdwan.
Sumitra Paul Bakshi,
who has a 15-year-old son with autism, said a “neurotypical world is a tough
world for their children”.
“Neurotypical people are so busy in a competitive
world that they have little time to understand the needs of our children. Also,
for us, when we see our children not being able to flourish in that setting, we
form our own group and are happy to see our children excel in that group of
neurodivergent individuals,” said Paul Bakshi, who also runs an organisation
for children with special needs.
Psychiatrist Sanjay Garg said that
neurodivergent children who are bullied start rationalising what they are
facing. “It becomes challenging to work with them because they internalise the
belief that they deserve the bullying,” said Garg.
“Sometimes they seek empathy
but what they get is only sympathy and that can be detrimental for them, too.”
The battle for acceptance is something that both neurodivergent children and
their parents fight right from childhood.
“It is not a one-day battle or
temporary but something that is persistent and there is no end to it,” said
Garg. The impact of bullying is not only on the neurodivergent child but on
their parents as well, said Garg.
“For parents, it becomes difficult to accept
that their child has significant disability and they internally cope with
denial and acceptance. Compared to a parent of a neurotypical child, a parent
of a neurodivergent child has to put in a lot of hard work. To have to face
bullying on top of that it takes a toll on them. Many of them go through mental
trauma,” said Garg.
The parents have to keep standing up for the child and
uncertainties and difficulties are bound to creep in, he said.
Many
parents said that unless and until they stand up for their child, society will
not understand.
“Parents of children with disabilities have to create
visibility of their children. If that is not done, the society will never be
able to accept them,” said Soumen Upadhyay, who has been working for disability
rights.